Bullies have always been a part of society - be it on the playground, in school, the workplace, and now even on the internet. Bullying can take up physical or psychological forms. It can happen at any age. And at every age, it is disturbing. Yet, the younger an individual is, the more likely he is to break down and carry its negative effect longer.
Unfortunately, many children and teens do not receive the right support when they are being bullied. This can cause anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues as a child or later in adulthood; and even suicide.
Arming your child against bullies
You can guide your children to face bullies and even reduce the probability of them getting bullied before they enter social setups. Following are some measures that help:
1. Raise their confidence: Did you know that bullies mostly target those who appear underconfident? The best thing that you can do to protect your child from bullies is to raise your child’s confidence. Applauding their efforts, well-intentioned acts, tasks well done, and the tiniest of achievements go a long way in building the confidence of your children.
2. Teach your child positive body language: straight back, eye contact, and the way they walk; all can either exude confidence or shyness. Also, special yoga and meditation classes for children like Utkarsh Yoga help children build up their confidence naturally. For teens, programs like Medha Yoga put your teens in charge of their emotions and instill confidence in them.
3. Spend regular quality time: When you spend quality time with your children consistently, they gain a sense of comfort and confidence to be able to talk to you freely about their problems. Encourage your child to talk about social situations pertaining to his life. Give your child the assurance that you are available to hear them out on any problem and that they can share anything with you without hesitation and fear of judgment.
4. Tell them that bullies exist: Forewarn your child before they begin school or go out to play. Tell them if someone is bothering them, then how they should tell you about them without fear or hesitation.
5. Teach them how to respond at that moment: Your child needs to be able to say it out clearly and calmly when something or someone is making them uncomfortable. It is best to respond to a bully with minimum words and walk away. It is best to not become aggressive or fearful as that just provokes a bully more.
How to know if your child is in trouble?
When victims of bullying receive proper support and guidance at the right time, they come out stronger and more confident in life. There are some telltale signs which can help you know if your younger one is in trouble.
- Stomach pains
- Worries & fear
- Quieter than usual
- Not wanting to go to school or for sports training as they are group-oriented situations
- Avoiding situations that are possible stress triggers
How to help?
Once you suspect or know for sure that your child is being bullied, follow these steps.
- Listen: Listen carefully to your child, keeping your emotions in check. Your child is looking for a strong parent with an attentive ear, a stable mind, and a reassuring air. So, maintain control over your anger and frustration. Press for more details if you suspect a problem. Avoid suggesting they get back to the bully. Do not give unhealthy advice like ‘Be strong’ either. They are coming to you because they are in a weak spot right now.
- Educate your child: It is important for children to understand that a bully bullies because he is seriously out of control and so there is no need to let the bully make you feel bad. Create a list of possible responses, making sure the responses are simple, direct, and non-confrontational. The best is to say just a little and walk away. Do not tear up because that’s the reward the bully is waiting for. If your child shows that he can’t be bothered, a bully will normally move on. If possible, use humor to deflate a situation.
- Report to authorities: If a bullying incident that the child recounts to you seems serious, you must report it to the authorities immediately. Give your child the confidence that you are with them and that no wrong can happen to them.
- Help them overcome their fear of the bully: If you can get both the bully and your child on the same platform via school authorities, then that is great. Under their supervision, you can facilitate a dialogue between them. Know both sides of the story, get the bully to apologize, and move on.
- Yoga, meditation & role-playing: There are tools that can prepare your child against bullying. Yoga and meditation can make them become more emotionally resilient and help them overcome the negative emotional impact of bullying. Role-playing acts where you and your kid can play the roles of a bully and the one being bullied can teach your child how to respond to a bully. Help them develop a firm and calm voice and not a wishy-washy whining tone with these acts.
Enroll your child in a relevant Children & Teens program to help them raise their confidence.
Based on inputs by Dr. Prema Seshadri, Psychologist & Faculty, Sahaj Samadhi Dhyan Program & Sheetal Chaudhary, Faculty, Children & Teens Programs
