New Year’s resolutions are a tricky business. You want to be stronger, healthier, happier, more productive and successful, and more financially secure. Every year, you set ambitious, exciting goals for yourself; you envision how much better you’ll feel at the end of the year, when you’ve overcome every challenge and become your best self.
But, of course, you’re human. And to be human is to deal with failure. Only 9% of those who make New Year’s resolutions follow through with them to their own satisfaction. So why do so many of us fall off the wagon?
One reason why your resolutions might not stick is because they address an action, or a symptom, rather than the cause of that symptom. Even if you succeed, without the necessary inner transformation, it’s easy to fall back into old habits.
Here are five New year’s resolutions for real, lasting growth from the inside out.
Love yourself through your actions.
Think of love as a verb, not a noun. Nouns are stagnant. They are things: unchangeable, immune to growth, and final in their definitions. But verbs are different. They’re actionable, they affect change, and they promote growth. Loving yourself is a journey, not a state of being. This year, start to love yourself by taking actions that nourish you. To kickstart that journey to self-love, make time for the things you enjoy, treat yourself with compassion, and try a meditation course or happiness retreat.
Transform negative self-talk.
The way in which you speak to yourself has a huge impact on your day to day life. If you’re constantly beating yourself up, indulging feelings of guilt, anxiety, frustration, and self-doubt, you will manifest these emotions in your outer life as well. Change your outlook this year by paying attention when negative thoughts arise. Once you identify a negative thought, you have the power to reframe your perspective into something positive and healing.
Practice kindness.
Many people perceive kindness as something that takes a lot of work. But as beautiful and fulfilling as big, obvious acts of kindness can be, small acts of kindness can impact the world too. Every interaction you have is a new chance to practice compassion, understanding, generosity, patience, and love. This year, take every opportunity you can to listen, connect, and be kind, and watch as kindness flows right back towards you.
Seek wisdom and self-knowledge.
Every single person on this earth is different. You are as unique as your fingerprint, and getting to know the ripples and whorls of your mind, body, and soul will do more for your well-being than you could ever imagine. When you know yourself, you have the ability to recognize your strengths and gifts, and the areas where you hurt and need healing. Meditation is a wonderful tool for learning more about yourself. When you sit with yourself for a period of time, just existing, focusing on your breath, on mantra, or on your body, inner truths have a tendency to bubble up and make themselves clear.
Choose that which fulfills you.
Every day, we are faced with countless choices, from the way we talk to others, to the media we consume, to the food that we put in our bodies. When you take a step back and evaluate these choices, and why you choose what you tend to choose, you gain insight into habits, thoughts, and patterns that may or may not serve you. Does reading the news leave you feeling motivated, or depressed? Is your morning coffee a pleasurable ritual, or is it an addiction? Consciously making the choice to engage with things that nourish and fulfill you, even at a seemingly mundane level, makes a big difference in your health and happiness in the long run.
A better version of yourself is waiting just around the corner. Pursuing goals that are focused on growth, rather than accomplishment, is a surefire way to end the year on a happier, healthier note than how you started it.
Paige Leigh Reist is a lifestyle writer, writing instructor, and the blogger behind thewholesomehandbook.com.
