Remember the last time you were angry. Do you easily get angry by trivial things happening to you or around you? Do you forget how to control your anger when someone overtakes you or is driving very slowly? Do you think the situation or person called for it?
Imagine this: Your boss calls you into his cabin first thing in the morning! You go inside thinking you’re about to be fired, but instead, he tells you that he’s giving you a promotion. Next thing you know, you catch a glimpse of that one person around whom you forget how to control anger. Will you really pay heed to him in that moment of excitement? No, right? So why do we get angry during other moments? Is it healthy? What are the disadvantages of anger?
Keep reading to answer your questions and learn some tips for anger management.
Why do we get angry?
Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says there are three causes for anger.
- Feeling of righteousness - The feeling of ‘I am right’ is the root cause of anger. If you think you are not right, you cannot get angry. If two people are angry at each other, they both feel they are right. If you talk to them individually, you may find that they are right in their own way. Righteousness is a perception, a concept, which can be subjective.
- Unfulfilled desire - When you have a deep desire and it doesn’t get fulfilled, you get frustrated and that frustration raises anger.
- Being Tired - When you are physically and mentally tired, and worn out, and have not relieved the stresses you have been carrying, then also you get angry.
Is anger healthy?
One of the most common disadvantages of anger is that most people think of anger as a negative emotion, especially when compared to pleasure, happiness, excitement, etc. Getting angry is normal.
Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says, “Anger is not bad. If it stays only for a few seconds, it is okay. Anger can be used as a tool to get your work done. Sometimes kids don’t listen to you when you tell them nicely, and when you show some anger, they listen. You are able to bring discipline. But if anger starts eating your own mind, your own energy, it will be disastrous for you. Anger is like fire which can give you warmth and can burn you too”
Most of us have failed to control our anger at one moment or the other. However, how you react is what matters when you forget how to control anger. When it spirals out of control and becomes destructive, it will cause difficulties like conflicts at work and personal relationships, affecting your overall standard of living, etc.
Getting angry can be due to various reasons that are out of your control. The one thing that you don’t have control over during an outburst is your state of mind.
Why you should control your anger
Anger triggers the basic flight-or-fight response in a human being. Your heart rate, breathing rate and blood pressure increase. You start hyperventilating and lose the sense of what is right or wrong. When anger is ‘recurrent and unmanaged’, metabolic changes are set in motion that inevitably affect not just your health but also your overall quality of life.
Here are some of the disadvantages of anger when left unmanaged:
- Heart disease
- Stroke
- Weak immunity
- Skin problems
- Insomnia
- High blood pressure
- Digestive problems
- Anxiety and depression
- Migraines
- Negative emotions
- Complications in pre-existing health conditions
Read more: 4 Natural Ways To Deal With Insomnia
9 ways to overcome anger
Are you someone who gets angry easily, or do you know anyone who needs to learn how to control their anger? Here are some tips for anger management you can try from the comfort of your home. Anger management techniques primarily decrease your emotional as well as physiological feelings that arise when you fail to control your anger. You cannot always control, change or even avoid things that anger you, but you can learn how to control your anger. Here are 8 ways to overcome anger:
1. Tend to your diet
Developing research has shown that the food you eat also affects your mind and emotions. You can feel varied levels of anger depending on the food you eat. For example, certain foods like french fries, pizzas, fried chicken, etc., make you stressed, restless and more prone to getting angry since they are high in trans fatty acids. Non-vegetarian food, spicy and oily food, can also contribute to irritability and can be a reason why we get angry.
On days when you are particularly feeling irritated and angry, avoid this kind of food and observe your mood. Chances are that you will find a shift within. One of the steady ways to reduce anger and its intensity over time is to eat healthy and fresh food on time. Foods like leafy vegetables are rich in dopamine and can help you feel calmer and content.
You can also consult an Ayurvedic doctor who will tell you your predominant dosha. If your ayurvedic constitution is mostly pitta, then they will prescribe the type of food you should eat. Do not eat too much chilli if you are a pitta type of person. And do not fast too long. Eat in time. When your pita is balanced, you will not lose your temper without any reason.
2. Experience the power of rest
Cutting back on sleep won't just give you dark circles; it might also be the reason for your anger issues. Sleep scarcity leads to a rise in negative emotions such as anxiety, sadness, and stress. Ensure that you give sufficient rest to your body and mind. That will not only reduce anger but will also boost your productivity!
3. Do yoga to control anger
15 minutes of yoga asanas for anger management every day can make you calmer and happier. A few rounds of Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutations) could be a good way to begin.
“On certain days, when I feel stressed out, I feel a lot of stiffness in my body. This makes me restless and agitated. I tend to get angry easily. Yoga asanas for anger management helped remove the stiffness from my body, and I found it to be one of the fastest ways to control my anger. The result was a light-hearted and happy mind,”
– Priyam Khanna, IT engineer
Do check out our Sri SrI Yoga Program.
4. Practice pranayama to control your anger
Pranayamas such as Bhastrika and Nadi Shodhan are yoga techniques to manage anger by reducing restlessness in the mind. When the mind is calm, you are less likely to get agitated and angry. Pranayama is the practice of controlling or regulating your breath. It promotes both physical and emotional wellness. Prana and yama are terms in Sanskrit for life energy and control, respectively. So, the next time you are not able to figure out how to control your anger, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Observe the change in your state of mind.
Learn the powerful technique Sudarshan Kriya and other pranayamas in The Art of Living’s Online Meditation and Breath Workshop.
5. Don’t get angry at the same time
Many times when somebody is angry at us, we in turn also get angry, and start yelling. The secret is that when someone is angry or upset in the family, we should not get upset at the same time. Let others have their time. If someone is yelling and shouting, give them their time. You just be a spectator. This doesn’t mean that you should be docile. Another time, you may show your anger. The problem is when everybody gets angry at the same time.
6. Allow space for imperfection
When things don't go as per your expectations, remind yourself: a perfect plan does not exist! Accept the imperfect situation as it is. Imperfections exist to add some color and challenge to your life. Fretting over small details over which you have no control can increase frustration, eventually leading to losing control over your anger. Broaden your awareness, leave some room for imperfections and avoid unnecessary arguments.
7. Meditate daily
Meditation helps you sustain calmness. Just 20 minutes of daily meditation can do wonders on how to control your anger. You will notice that even when you get angry, you calm down faster. Though meditation has several benefits for the mind and body, one of the key benefits of meditation techniques is anger management.
Read more for 8 Tips to get started with meditation for beginners
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8. Take into account your triggers
If you are someone who does not know how to control your anger, start listing down things that anger you. It can be people, things, situations, snarky comments, etc. List them down. Understanding things that trigger your anger issues can be beneficial as to how to control anger. This way, you can learn to omit/avoid triggers over which you have control and be prepared for the ones you cannot control. You can use anger management techniques before you enter an uncomfortable situation.
9. Have a quick workout session
Anger gives you a rush of emotions. Exercise and physical activity are two of the best methods for controlling your temper. Numerous studies have demonstrated the mood-enhancing benefits of exercise, particularly cardio. Exercise can help you release additional tension, whether you take a quick stroll or visit the gym.
You can unwind by exercising frequently. Regular exercise has been proven to alleviate anger and can help you control your anger much better. Exercises like aerobics help you feel less stressed, allowing you to have more patience. After a heavy workout session or a long run, you might discover that your perspective on the issue at hand has improved.
Tips on Anger Management from Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Don’t shy away from professional help on Anger Management
While the above-mentioned tips to control anger can bring you solutions, remember to be open to professional help if managing your anger feels challenging even after working on various techniques for anger management. Seeking help when it comes to mental health has always been taboo or something to be ashamed of. Don’t let this misconception stop you from reaching out to a professional.
Learn to manage your anger with Sudarshan Kriya in The Art of Living’s Happiness Program.
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FAQs On How To Control Anger
The quickest way to calm down your anger is to breathe alternatively through each nostril, also known as Nadi Shodhan Pranayam. It is a form of yoga to control anger and other heightened emotions.
Anger in itself is not an illness. It is normal to feel angry. However, intense and frequent bouts of anger can be a sign of a condition requiring help. You can practice some techniques to control your anger and seek help from a doctor when you do not see any change in yourself, even after a considerable period of time.
Crying is a normal outlet for pent-up emotions of frustration and anger. When you're angry, your body releases a torrent of hormones that cause a variety of intense physical reactions, such as short-term memory loss, sweaty hands, and a beating heart. There is a possibility that you might cry as a reaction to increased stress. It is a type of catharsis, a coping method for dealing with our strong emotions, such as sadness, rage, or frustration.
Develop a strategy to control your anger. A glass of water, silence/ walking away from the situation, and becoming aware of your breath are simple strategies you can adopt to learn how to control anger. Remember not to react to the person or situation with your anger; respond to your anger with these strategies instead. In addition, you can do Sudarshan Kriya and meditation every day. These practices help regulate emotions and control your anger.
Because of stress that you have not yet addressed. The root of this stress could be regular life stress or a distressing event that has happened in your life lately. Daily meditation can help you deal with both kinds of stress.
Develop a strategy to deal with your anger. A glass of water, silence/ walking away from the situation, becoming aware of your breath are simple strategies that you can adopt. Remember: don't react to the person or situation with your anger. Respond to your anger with these strategies instead. In addition, do Sudarshan Kriya and meditation every day. These practices help regulate emotions and reduce anger.
