Meditation

Feeling Sad and Low? Try Self-Compassion Meditation and Breathwork

By Jade Doherty

Do you find yourself showing compassion to others but struggling to show it to yourself? Find out why when it comes to self compassion meditation is key.

Imagine if a friend or loved one came to you in distress. They'd had a hard day or just received some bad news. How would you treat them?

I'm guessing you'd treat them with kindness and compassion, you'd be loving and caring. You might give them a hug, or invite them to sit down and tell you about what had happened. You'd probably listen, and (if appropriate) help them solve their issue.

I doubt you'd dismiss their concerns, or tell them it's not important, or even that it's their fault.

And yet, when it comes to how we treat ourselves, so many people opt for the latter and don't know to treat themselves with the same kindness and compassion that they offer to others.

Before we go any further, what does self compassion mean?

Compassion can be defined as "sympathetic of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it".

So, with that in mind, self compassion would mean being sympathetic to your own distress together with a desire to alleviate it.

In Sanskrit - the language of yoga, Hinduism, and Buddhism - there is no distinction between compassion for others and compassion for self. Both are called karuna, and the quality of karuna plays a big role in both Hinduism and Buddhism.

In Hinduism, many deities have the qualities of compassion, and devotees may pray for compassion from their chosen deities. While in the Buddhist tradition, karuna, or compassion for self and others, is seen as being a vital quality for one who wants to awaken spiritually.

Why do we struggle with self compassion?

For many people, it's easier to be nice to other people than it is to treat themselves nicely.

We give them the benefit of the doubt or see that they are trying their best.

This is what I mean by it often being easier to feel compassion for others than it is for ourselves.

How to practice self compassion?

Given that for many people self compassion and treating ourselves with kindness doesn't come naturally, we need to practice it!

Practice both in the sense of "a practice", and something you are practicing to get better at.

One thing I think is really helpful is to treat yourself kindly regardless of your thoughts or feeling towards yourself.

Treating yourself badly just reinforces those negative thoughts. In order to change things, you have to change things.

And sometimes that can feel a little artificial. That you are actively being nice to yourself, rather than it just feeling normal. That's OK. When we start something new we are often hyper-conscious of what we're doing, and just have to keep going until it feels natural. Think of it as breaking the cycle, putting a new quality into your life that will eventually feel normal.

You might even like to treat yourself like someone else. If it's too hard to be compassionate to yourself, you can ask yourself "If my friend/loved ones/child was in this situation, how would I treat them?"

Often we tolerate treatment for ourselves that we would never tolerate for someone else, so that can be a good practice to start with.

So if your friend was stressed out and exhausted, what would you suggest they do? Or if your child was being mistreated would you expect them to put up with it, or would you encourage them to stand up for themselves or even leave that dynamic?

Practices for self compassion

So, with this attitude of self compassion in mind, what are some practices you can actually do?

Yoga -

Yoga is a fantastic tool for evoking a feeling of self compassion and loving kindness. It's also a great way to look after your body and health, which is highly self compassionate if you ask me!

A yoga practice gives you a chance to slow down and tune into your body and breath. It's just you, your body, and breath, and by working through a sequence your thoughts and self-judgments will begin to slow down. And when these slow down, there starts to be more space for self compassion.

In terms of specific postures, anything that engages your heart area can get a feeling of kindness and compassion moving. Check out this post on the Heart Chakra for specific postures.

You can also check out the yoga course created by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar called Sri Sri Yoga.

Gratitude -

Gratitude is a great way to not only be nicer to yourself but also cultivate a feeling of happiness.

Make a habit of noticing what you like about yourself. It might feel a bit awkward at first, but taking to time to notice what you actively like about yourself is a great way to raise self-esteem and invite compassion towards yourself.

Maybe you appreciate how organized you are. Or how well you look after your family. Or that you keep going no matter how hard things get.

Meditation -

When it comes to self compassion meditation is one of the best (if not the best!) tools available.

Meditation is fast becoming one of the most popular ways to manage anxiety and improve wellness. From mindfulness practices to guided meditation, to meditations with a specific theme, such as a kindness meditation or a compassion meditation.

Which meditation is best?

While there are many styles out there, SKY Breath Meditation is an evidence-based approach that has been studied in-depth and comes out on top when compared to other styles and mindfulness practices.

What makes SKY stand out is the focus on your breathing. By working with the breath, you able to achieve so many results! From health benefits to reducing anxiety, PTSD, and depression, to calming your mind and experiencing deep inner peace and happiness, and cultivating a more compassionate mind.

And these benefits only compound as you practice. Through meditation, your anxiety reduces, which makes it easier to feel compassion for yourself, which in turn helps with anxiety. An upward spiral of happiness and inner peace! Daily life doesn't feel hard, and difficult feelings start to reduce.

Many people have tried meditation but found it hard. It can be difficult to sit down and meditate when you don't really know what to do, and when your mind is very busy.

It can't be just me who has sat down to meditate only to find that my mind got very, very loud, and inner peace was nowhere to be found!

By working with your breath, SKY is able to effortlessly quiet the mind and take you to deeper and profound states.

So if you've struggled with meditation in the past, SKY will help you to actually enjoy your meditation practice.

Working with the breath also brings a whole host of other benefits.

SKY has been shown to:

Reduce anxiety

Reduce depression

Increase positive emotions

Increase social connectedness

Reduce PTSD

All of these benefits will improve your life, not to mention deepening your spiritual practice, helping you to live in the present moment, and feel good while doing it.

How to get started?

We are thrilled to invite you to join a free intro class called Beyond Breath. In Beyond Breath a highly qualified instructor will guide you through a meditation and breathing technique, giving you a taste of what to expect on the full SKY course. You'll also be able to ask any questions you may have.

So, if you're looking for a simple next step you can do to start treating yourself in a more compassionate way, sign up to Beyond Breath. One step leads to two, and before you know it your journey of self compassion is in full swing!