By Elizabeth Herman | Posted: November 13, 2019

What is sensitivity? It makes you very aware, not only of the feelings and needs of yourself and others around you, but also of vibrations and happenings in the environment. Yoga teacher Sriram Sarvotham states, “Yoga postures help to sharpen our sensitivity to our body,” in his article about developing both strength and sensitivity through the regular practice of yoga poses.

When I was very young, older children said I was oversensitive, because I would feel extremely upset and hurt at the slightest hint of any rejection or criticism. And when someone teased me and I reacted with pain, I judged their behavior because I thought that they acted insensitively. They didn’t consider my feelings when saying or doing something that I thought anyone could see would be hurtful. So it was clear that a balance between total insensitivity and oversensitivity was needed.

The question of sensitivity

One person recently asked Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar the following question: “How can sensitivity be inculcated in someone? Often we see that when someone goes through tough circumstances, they become sensitive. But putting someone through tough situations can create other reactions from them. How can sensitivity be cultivated?”

In a recent two minute video, Gurudev not only addresses the first steps in making others more sensitive, but in becoming sensitive yourself. Here is his answer:

“When you want to cultivate sensitivity, there are 100 ways to do it. You want to be sensitive; you want to be sharp,” says Gurudev, as he begins to answer for those who want to improve their own level of sensitivity.

Don’t be overambitious

“First of all you should not be over ambitious. If you’re stuck in your own world of ambition, you become sort of blind. People with ambitions are blind to others’ sensitivities and others’ presence,” says Gurudev. 

He observes that focusing on one’s own desires and ambitions blocks sensitivity, defined in the dictionary as “the ability to detect or respond to slight changes, signals, or influences.” But true success is more likely with higher levels of awareness and ability to respond.

Not only does too much ambition lessen your awareness of slight changes and signals, it can make you disregard the norms and expectations of your social surroundings. For instance, if you aren’t sensitive to variations in cultural practices when going from one country to another, you can make all kinds of violations of the rules of etiquette, like how to eat food without silverware. Or you can inadvertently violate traffic laws, by driving on the wrong side of the road, for example. “Ambition makes you blind to laws and rules, because somehow you want to get your things done. This is over ambitiousness,” says Gurudev.

Calm and happy with good intentions

Part of his answer implies that making people happy in the now, with good intentions for the future, can help to inculcate sensitivity in them. When you’re looking to help others become more sensitive, he suggests that you give them calmness, and remember that “Only a calm and happy person can be more sensitive to other people’s needs. If you’re unhappy, if you’re sad, then also, you can’t be sensitive to others’ needs. And if you’re ambitious and feverish about achieving something, then you can’t be sensitive to others.”

“You have to have a fine balance of being in the moment and having a goal in life to achieve. This balance is there, being in the present moment and keeping an intention to do something,” Gurudev asserts. It isn’t a matter of letting go of all interest in achieving your life’s purpose, but it’s very important to “...not be feverish about it. It’s a very fine line between those two things.”

So the tough experiences, what my parents used to call “hard knocks,” like those the questioner mentioned, may not make someone more intuitively aware, if he or she reacts with sadness, frustration, and hurt feelings. Those painful responses may only narrow the focus of the person, strengthening ambition and desire to get out of an overwhelmingly difficult situation, without the resources or skills to handle it.

At the same time, there should be an intention for good works, while staying content in the present moment. Not looking ahead to the future by rushing toward goals, and not feeling regret about the past, can both help when hanging on to positive intentions and staying happy with the only moment you really have.

For more information on striking a perfect balance between present and future, as well as contentment and intentions, and developing strength and sensitivity, you might want to find an Art of Living Happiness Program or Sri Sri Yoga course near you! 

Elizabeth Herman writes, offers writing support to clients, teaches, and volunteers for a better world. She has a PhD in Rhetoric, Composition and Literature. Find her on Facebook or Twitter.