Question & Answers with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Gurudev, as teenagers each one of us develops a liking for someone, and begins to spend a lot of time on it. This is a major distraction for us. Can you please help us?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Thank God you understood that it is a distraction! The job is half done! Get busy!
This is the time to develop all the talents in you, the time to develop your skills -- to learn music, languages, cooking, agriculture and whatever else you want to learn. Spend every minute of your life in studies. Whomsoever you are falling in love with, they can wait. And you can also wait for some time. Focus on studies. Teenage is absolutely important, and it should be spent for acquiring more skills in life.
You always say that if someone breaks our heart, you are there for us, we don't have to worry. What to do when you break our heart?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
That means you are blossoming and growing. When a seedling breaks, it becomes a plant. Without a seed bursting, it cannot become a tree.
If you want to blossom in life, don't think, "Gurudev should look at me. Did he see me or didn't? Gurudev said 'Jai Gurudev' to the person standing next to me, he didn't look at me and smile". All this goes on in the mind, drop all that! When you are looking here and there, I definitely look at you! And when your sight is fixed on me, then I can rest. This does not mean that you give me more work! (Laughter)
Do we have to perform shraadh? If we don't perform this ritual, will the future generations suffer?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
No, don't be afraid. Shraadh is a ritual performed in the memory of people who have passed away. In their memory, you do some good work, feed a few people - that is what it is. Even the mantras that are chanted during shraadh say, "My father, my grandfather, and great grandfather, all three of you, come, I am serving some food to you with devotion, please accept it". This is all that is said in the mantras. It is spoken in Sanskrit, it could have been said in Hindi too; that is all.
It is a ritual that has been going on for generations. Shraadh means doing something with devotion, i.e., shraddha, it is doing some good deed for people with devotion.
In the olden days, when they realized that a person has taken rebirth, they would cease with the ritual. Now, people don't know whether the person has taken rebirth or not, so they keep on performing shraadh.
If the purpose of life is to attain liberation, is there any value for all the time we spend on our education, profession and career?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Each one has its own place. You need to do both. To make a living, you need to work, and to grow on the spiritual path, you need to meditate. Both go together, they do not oppose each other.
Often, we think that only when we leave everything will we be able to meditate here, that is not the case. We see many people who have left everything and sit here, but they take up something else to occupy their mind. It is not necessary that you have to leave everything, and then meditate. If you have taken up some responsibility, fulfil it.
An absconder will never attain liberation. If you want to drop small commitments and take up a higher cause, that is fine. Don't think that those who have become saints or ascetics have run away from their materialistic life in order to gain something. No! A saint has to take up a lot of responsibility, she/he takes the responsibility of everyone, they work for the whole world. A person who runs away will not attain anything.
In the world, we see so many successful people who do not meditate. We also see many meditators who are not successful in terms of name, fame, money, achievements, etc. How do we explain this?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Well, what do you call a success? Is it just having a big bank balance? People may have had a lot of fame and name, and a big bank balance, but they may be unable to smile, or they may not be having a good night’s sleep, and many cannot enjoy their meal. Do you know that?
To me, success is the undying smile on someone’s face. To me, success is the confidence in a person that he can win, that he can overcome any obstacles, or any situations in his life.
That is success! Look at some of the wealthy people, they are so scared of even making friends with anybody. They think that their friends are just there for their money. They get into that state of paranoia. Do you call this success? There are many so called famous people, that even if you squeeze them, there is not an iota of joy in them. I don’t call it success.
Well, if you want to be successful and famous, you can do all that, but you have to keep a healthy body and healthy mind. For that, you need to meditate my dear! Meditation is not a direct way to success. It is like watering the root of a tree. When you water the roots, then there are fruits, are flowers and greenery. If you don’t want to meditate, don’t meditate. There is no compulsion. Get thoroughly stressed, and be stressed. If stress can bring you success, well, you should go for it. Who asked you to meditate?
Wake up, please wake up. Meditation is not an obstacle for you to be dynamic and successful in your life. In fact, it helps you. If some people are meditating and they are not successful, it is their choice.
During the silence program, is talking to oneself also not allowed?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Is it such a compulsion that you have to talk to yourself? What do you need to talk to yourself? I am very good, or I am very bad, I am in Bangalore? Is that what you want to remind yourself? Just gather all your energy which you waste in talking and talking all the time, and experience the silence just for a couple of days. You will be astonished that there is so much depth inside of you, such vastness is inside of you.
Gurdev, I am getting distracted and disturbed by lot of comments and behavior of others. I am unable to let go. Please help me.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
If it is so difficult to let go, then just hold on to it tight, I tell you. All the comments that others make about you, note it down, print it, and repeat it every day to yourself in the morning, afternoon and evening. Without that, don’t have breakfast. Just do this for two days and see. I tell you, on the third day it will be gone.
I am telling you this seriously - write down everybody’s comment about you which you cannot forget, and then tell me if it works for you or not. If it doesn’t, then I will suggest something different to you.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Just understand what Chanchal means. Chal means what? Movement. Chanchal means one which moves very fast. If you don’t have to go to the market and spend any money, then why do you have to go to the bank to get the money? It does not make sense. If you have money, what for do you have money? It is not worth anything if you are not spending it. Wealth is circulation. If you have a pot of grains, you have to sow them back in the soil to get more grains. If you just keep them for too long, they will decay. So wealth grows and wealth is sustained when there is movement. In ancient times the people knew this secret and that is why they say Lakshmi is Chanchal.
Narayana is always there. The word nerves or nervous systems comes from Narayana. Nara means nerves. Narayana means the consciousness which is housed in the nervous system. If it is not there, you would not even have been able to ask this question that you are asking, or understand anything. So you are Narayana, and for you to sustain yourself, you need means, and means have to keep moving, and that is what Lakshmi means.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
Feelings change but commitment should not change as fast as the feelings. We simply have to acknowledge that feelings change very fast.
I remember there was one lady who used to come and ask me for blessing when she was to go for shopping. She would say, "Gurudev, I want to go for shopping, give me blessings". I felt it very strange. People ask blessings when they are sick, or they want to achieve something, but shopping? What on earth would make you ask for blessing for shopping? She said, "Every time I go for shopping, I buy a new dress and when I come home, I don’t like it. Then I go and exchange it. Even before buying it I ask them if I can come and exchange the colors if I don’t like it? This happens every time, and my husband is in trouble all the time. So this time let me choose something that I don’t have to exchange". So our mind is such, our feelings are such that it keeps changing all the time. If we base our lives only on our feelings and moods, we will be ruined. Will be nowhere.
How do we increase our passion for meditation?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar:
You want to meditate, that is good enough. Intellectually understand the benefits of it. If you meditate, the structure of your brain changes, your stomach becomes softer, your feet become warmer, your heart becomes larger, and your intellect becomes sharper, what more do you want? These are the many temptations given to you!
Do you want to be intuitive, innovative, energetic and charming? All this meditation can give you. Anything more? In spite of all these, if you still don’t have interest to do anything, I would like you to go and check up your vitamins. You may have a serious vitamin D deficiency, or B12 deficiency, or intelligence deficiency (laughter). So fix yourself.
See, the moment you say - I want to have more passion, you already have it my dear. I want to love something, that means you are already loving it. These are emotions which you cannot pump it up or buy it in a market.